


After All

by zainiall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Bottom Niall, College, Family Drama, M/M, Minor Niall Horan/Liam Payne, Moving Out, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Niall-centric, Roommates, Top Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-17 13:57:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2312084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zainiall/pseuds/zainiall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both sat there for a while without speaking, just resting their heads on each other’s shoulders and hearing their breathings. At last, they both pulled away, Niall wiping his tears with his white vest.</p><p>Harry kissed Niall on the forehead before standing up and grabbing his cars keys from the kitchen counter.</p><p>“See you in a few hours. Zayn will be here at ten o'clock,” he informed him and passed the long corridor heading to the door. He opened it but stopped at the doorframe. </p><p>“Who knows? Maybe this will turn out to be for the best, after all,” he said before walking out and closing the door behind.</p><p>Or the one where Harry moves out, Zayn moves in, Louis is a diva who values his sleep and Liam is a mean bulldog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nearestexit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nearestexit/gifts).



> I can't believe it, but I've actually managed to finish my first fic (!!!!). I wouldn't have done it without the help of Michelle (amioriginialll), who not only organised this whole exchange -and gave me the opportunity to write this fic- but was also kind enough to beta my work and cope with my bad timing, horrible guessings (I'd told her that the fic would be 8k words) and grammar mistakes. Her help was invaluable; I would have never managed to write it without her editing and observations. Also, a big thank you to dresslike1d, whose blog helped me find out what Niall should wear when my mind would stuck and I just had to picture Niall with real life clothes in order to continue. (This sounded a bit like an Oscar acceptance speech but anyway).
> 
> As any of you who will read the fic will see, there are a dozens of references of movies,books,tv series and characters. My biggest inspiration, however, was 1Q84 written by Murakami.
> 
> I hope you all like it, but above all, I hope that nearestexit likes it. I know that it may not be how you had imagined it, but I wanted to do something different.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> P.S. Based on this prompt: Niall puts up ads for a roommate and ends up with an Angsty Artist Zayn who paints his feelings to old rock and r&b at ungodly hours in the morning but actually pays his share of the rent on time and Niall really can't kick him out.

“It’s all your fault, I hope you know that,” Niall grunted as he lifted a heavy box full with movie cases, mostly romantic ones.

“Hey, don’t be cruel! It’s not like we were going to live the rest of our lives in this apartment. Don’t you remember Frances Ha?” Harry held a noticeably smaller box which contained books about his acting classes.

Niall cursed under his breath and tried to make it completely clear that he was struggling to move the boxes (it wasn’t difficult at all but he would do anything to make Harry feel guilty for moving out).

Once they climbed down the stairs and put the last of the boxes inside Harry’s red Mazda 6, they went back to their- no, his- apartment on the third floor and opened one bottle of beer and one can of soda.

Niall looked around and felt a strange feeling like someone was squeezing his stomach. From the small kitchen, with the huge wooden-looking fridge that Harry had bought from an antique shop and was so happy with it that Niall couldn’t tell him that it was horrible, he could actually see the small puff he had allowed himself to buy and was constantly hidden under Harry’s dirty laundry.

“Would you believe me if I told you that I had honestly forgotten how it looked like being tidy?” Harry asked as he took a sip of his soda and Niall scoffed. “It’s no surprise since you never made any attempt to clean your mess, you dirty scumbag.”

Harry opened his mouth but Niall spoke first. “I told you there was no way I’d do your laundry! I wonder how Louis will cope with your messiness.”

Harry’s expression changed at the mention of Louis’ name in a way that you wouldn’t notice unless you knew him; how his eyes lightened, his mouth stretching forming a little smile,even his curls seemed to come to life, bouncing imperceptibly. “Louis loves me,” he said with a shrug, his voice somehow getting softer.

Niall rolled his eyes but he didn’t argue. He had been in the same room with them enough times - more than he wanted - to realise that they, in fact, loved each other; something totally expected from Harry who always let himself being drained in all his relationships leaving him heartbroken and mentally bruised by the end of it. However, it was completely out of character for Louis who never had a boyfriend for more than three days and had more love partners than Harry could ever hope for.

From the minute Louis had moved from Doncaster to London, three years ago, to study at Trinity College and become a drama teacher, he met Harry, who had returned from his parents’ house at Redditch, at the toilets of the train station. They had literally bumped into each other; Harry rather late for his date with a girl he had met at London School of Dramatic Art had stormed into the bathroom and accidentally pushed Louis, who had drunk too many bottles of water. All it had taken was an “Oops”, a “Hi” and Harry had forgotten everything about his date.

“That friend of Louis,” Niall started but Harry interrupted him. “They’re not friends. They’re more acquaintances. They just went to the same school and then they both moved to London,” he clarified and took the empty bottle of beer from Niall’s hands and washed it along with his can before tossing them in the recycling bin.

“Anyway, that person… will I like him?” Niall asked and Harry shrugged.

"I haven’t met him. He doesn’t hang out with Louis a lot, only once, two times a week max. As I’ve said repeatedly, I’d prefer if your new roommate was a girl cause I think it would bring a breath of fresh air, literally and metaphorically. But since Louis vouches for him, I think you’ll like him.”

Niall sighed and walked into their living room. He searched for the remote control but after a few minutes, he abandoned his efforts and sat on the puff. Harry soon walked in holding a glass of water and sat on the couch next to Niall.

“Shouldn’t you be cleaning the apartment?” Harry wondered and winced.

“I’ve already cleaned it enough to lure him in,” Niall responded and Harry nodded after taking a look around and wincing again.

“Ok, I either have really missed Louis or there’s something poking my ass,” he said and sat up. When he revealed the remote control, Niall cheered. “You’ll come out with us today, won’t you?” Harry questioned as he turned on the TV and started zapping.

“Sure. Why I would miss a free bottle of Cutty Sark? Liam is coming, right?”

Liam was a guy Niall had met one night when he had saved him from a jerk. After two weeks since he and Harry had moved to London, they had decided to go out and celebrate their new life. They had gone to a club that neither Harry nor Niall noticed the name of and bought a bottle of vodka. After they had drunk several glasses full with vodka at one gulp, Harry was already pretty smashed. Luckily, Louis, who had also gone out with some of his friends, happened to come to the same club and seeing the state of Harry, decided to take him to his flat.

Niall being pretty intoxicated himself, decided to stay behind with Louis’ friends and finish the bottle of vodka. After pouring the last sips on the overturned glass, he snorted them. That was the last clear memory of that night; everything else was a blur. He vaguely remembered making out with a blond girl, kissing a dark haired stud and dancing with several others. It all went wrong when one of the guys that he danced with, tried to kiss him but for some reason he had pushed him. That angered him and he tried to forcefully kiss Niall until a sober Liam had punched the guy.

Liam then had taken Niall and drove him to his house – how he was able to give Liam the right directions to his house was beyond him – and even waited for him to fall asleep. The next morning Niall had found on his kitchen table a note with messy writing; _I’ve saved my number on your mobile phone. When you wake up call me to know that you’re ok x Liam :)_

Niall, after he had waited for Ponstan to take action, called him and they arranged to meet at a Starbucks next to Niall. He wanted to meet him not only to thank him for the previous night but also because he wanted to meet as many people as possible – and maybe because he had started growing a small crush on his saviour.

Three years later, Liam had become one of his best friends – a very hot and one hundred percent would bang friend, but still just a friend. Liam was kind, honest and straight. He also had a single uncle who had no kids and loved Liam as his own. That uncle happened to be the owner of Funky Buddha and every time they would go there (at least two times a month), he would treat them to a bottle of whatever they wanted.

“I should probably leave,” Harry said, turning the TV off and Niall nodded.

“Louis will be waiting for you.” He hoped his voice didn’t reveal his feelings but something must have given it away, as Harry stood up and sat next to him.

“You know I love you. Just because I move in with Louis, it doesn’t mean I move out from your life. You were, are and always will be my best friend. I’m not like Sophie,” he whispered and Niall immediately hugged him, wanting to hide his watery eyes.

"I love you too,” he breathed as he caressed him.

They both sat there for a while without speaking, just resting their heads on each other’s shoulders and hearing their breathings. At last, they both pulled away, Niall wiping his tears with his white vest.

Harry kissed Niall on the forehead before standing up and grabbing his cars keys from the kitchen counter.

“See you in a few hours. Zayn will be here at ten o'clock,” he informed him and passed the long corridor heading to the door. He opened it but stopped at the doorframe. 

“Who knows? Maybe this will turn out to be for the best, after all,” he said before walking out and closing the door behind.

***

Zayn didn’t show up at ten o’clock and Niall started growing more and more frustrated as the minutes passed by. After he decided that there was no chance he would lose the night out, he had a quick shower, wore a white Calvin Klein trunk, his skinny light wash jeans, a white t-shirt and his Topman burgundy tartan long-sleeved shirt.

At eleven fifteen, Harry texted him that they had reached Funky Buddha and instructed him to invite Zayn. Niall was fuming; Zayn was supposed to be there an hour ago. He thought that no one besides Louis could be that late but it seemed that he was wrong.

After a few minutes of aimlessly sitting in front of the television, he stood up to put his white Converse sneakers and then sat back down. He turned the TV off and grabbed his light blue iPhone 5c. He checked his Facebook and Instagram news feed (and liked Liam’s selfie), deleted some e-mails from GQ and checked if there were any new items on Flipboard.

The moment his digital watch showed that it was quarter to twelve, Niall stood up, grabbed his Pull and Bear wallet and his keys and headed to the door. Zayn was two hours late and Niall honestly didn’t care if he would stay locked outside. He wanted to have fun, get drunk and forget that Harry had moved out and no one would ruin that.

When he stepped out of his door, he nearly bumped into another man. He wore black boots, skinny black ripped jeans and a black vest top with a snake design which revealed his copious tattoos; a tiger on his left arm, a big microphone, a cartoon-style “ZAP!” and a cartoon-ish style girl on his right arm. As he lifted his gaze, Niall noticed flawless brown skin, an angular jaw line, well defined thick eyebrows, thin lips and prominent cheekbones.

At last, Niall met the stranger’s eyes -sparkling hazel eyes- which had widened in surprise. The dark haired lad dropped his brown bag and his mouth formed a perfect “O”. For a moment, Niall wondered why a demigod had appeared in his front door until he remembered that he was expecting someone.

Niall raised his left hand and smiled. “I’m Niall Horan. You must be Zayn,” he guessed but the stranger kept staring at him without forming a word. Suddenly, he remembered that Zayn had stood him up for two hours and grew irritated again. “You’re late,” he stated flatly as he lowered his hand.

This seemed to wake Zayn who grabbed his bag and started mumbling. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I fell asleep and my phone’s battery died.”

Niall nodded. “You can come in. I would guide you through the apartment but I have plans. In fact, if you want, you can come too.”

Zayn shook his head as he stepped in. “I’m really tired, I think I’ll go get some rest.”

“Okay,” Niall replied and started walking away.

“I’m Zayn by the way,” he said and Niall nodded once again and climbed down the stairs.

***

Niall paid the taxi driver and greeted the bouncer, who Liam had introduced him to one time, and entered the club. It didn’t take him long before he spotted where his friends stood (at the centre) but getting there was another thing. Niall pushed sweaty bodies and danced his way through.

“Hey, you came!” Harry yelled to be heard over the loud music. “Why did it take you so long?”

“Because his friend,” Niall pointed to Louis with his head, “was late for two hours.”

Louis giggled making Niall even more irritated. “Why didn’t you bring him?” Liam inquired.

“Because he wanted to sleep,” Niall answered and poured himself a glass of Cutty Sark. “Or maybe he noticed how frustrated I was with him.”

“Sexually?” Louis asked smiling and Niall almost spilled his drink. “What?” he said after coughing a little.

“Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice how good looking he is. He’s exactly your type,” Louis persisted and Niall shook his head in denial. “I don’t even have a type.”

His three friends rolled their eyes. “Tanned skin. Even though that’s just Zayn’s skin colour”, Louis started counting with his fingers, “Dark hair”.

“Tattoos,” Harry provided and “Lean and not bulky,” Liam said.

“Okay, maybe I do have a type but that certainly doesn’t include assholes who are late,” Niall replied and had to restrain himself from punching Louis in the face for his big smile.

“With his appearance he could be such a dick and no one would protest but he’s actually a very nice lad,” Louis said.

“Anyway”, Niall yelled to put an end to this conversation, “I didn’t come here to talk about Zayn. Cheers!” he concluded and emptied his glass.

***

Niall is a light sleeper. Even though he can sleep for twelve hours straight, if anyone makes the faintest of noises, he will hear it and wake up. It doesn’t matter if he’s drunk or he hasn’t slept for two days; that will only increase the duration of his sleep. The good thing with Harry was that if he woke up earlier than Niall, he would either stay quiet in their apartment or go to Louis’.

That’s the reason why it didn’t even cross Niall’s mind that Zayn would make any noise. Niall had returned to their apartment at seven and had immediately walked to his room, thinking that he would have at least ten hours of sleep, since it was Saturday. However, the sound of an old r&b song had made him open his eyes and groan. It had taken him a few minutes (mostly to overcome his panic attack for someone breaking into his apartment) before he remembered that Zayn had moved in with him.

Niall groaned again and put his pillow over his head, in a failed attempt to protect his ears from the music. He had a headache, a sore throat and his back ached for some reason. He wanted to go to Zayn and kill him using his speakers for putting this kind of music at – he checked his phone – eight in the morning. But he was too tired to even raise his head, let alone strangle Zayn.

So, he closed his eyes and prayed for some silence.

***

This time, Niall was woken up by something that sounded like an alarm. He found it easier to raise his body and after sitting at the edge of the bed for some seconds, he stood up and headed to Harry’s – no, Zayn’s – room. It was only ten in the morning and Niall wanted at least five more hours of sleep before he could face the day.

He opened Zayn’s door and immediately spotted his alarm making a persistent and utterly annoying sound. He walked over there and turned it off, enjoying the silence that followed. Only then he looked over at Zayn…and almost dropped the alarm.

Zayn seemed untouched by the sound of his alarm, even though it was right next to his ear. His long black eyelashes had sealed his eyes and his hair was flat, covering his forehead. His light blue sheet had been almost thrown away, probably during his sleep, revealing his lean and toned body, covered by tattoos. Niall lusted over one on his chest; red lips between a pair of black wings. The urge to ride him and leave a wet kiss on the lips was almost irresistible but that wasn’t what had flustered him.

The way the sheets covered Zayn’s body, made it perfectly clear that he didn’t wear any underwear. His thigh was naked and at the realization, Niall started growing more and more aroused. Zayn was indeed his type or if he wanted to be completely honest with himself, Zayn was probably everyone’s type. Niall had this sudden urge to grab the sheets and expose Zayn’s whole body.

This thought made him realise what a creep he was being at the moment, lusting over an unconscious guy. He closed his eyes and exited the room, trying to be quiet and only when he reached his room he realised that he hadn’t been breathing. After taking a few deep breaths, he lay down and tried to sleep, ignoring his erection.

 _I’m not going to jack off to what I saw like a perverted Edward Cullen_ , he thought and tried to clear his mind from Zayn; his lips and the way they would open when he came, his body, his...

***

Niall woke up by the smell of something that made his stomach stutter and his mouth fill with saliva. He jumped off the bed - in a way that if it was seen by his mother, she would give him a one-hour long lecture about back pains – wore his grey lounge sweatpants and a vest top and headed to the bathroom, across from his room. He washed his face (the cold water was heaven), brushed his teeth and wiped the mess he had created with a towel.

When he got out, he stood right outside of the kitchen, staring at Zayn who was cooking. He wore a grey t-shirt and white jersey shorts, his black hair messy. Even if Niall was disappointed that he didn’t have a fetish for strolling around the apartment naked (like Harry), he would never admit it to himself.

Niall fake- coughed to make his presence known and walked into the kitchen. Zayn turned and smiled when he saw him. “Good morning,” he said in a deeper voice than yesterday and Niall hummed in response before crushing on a chair.

Zayn opened the fridge and grabbed a Starbucks cup that had Niall immediately perking up. “Harry came by with Louis half an hour ago and brought you this. He told me that I should give it to you as soon as you woke up,” Zayn explained and gave him the cup. Niall tried to ignore the awkward feeling he felt when his fingers brushed with Zayn’s and took a sip.

“Thank you,” Niall murmured and Zayn returned to his cooking. After a moment of silence, Niall decided that he should speak. “So, Harry and Louis visited us?” he asked and silently cursed the moment he used “us” as a pronoun.

“Yes. They wanted to know if I had settled and if you were okay. It seems you had fun yesterday,” Zayn replied and added some spaghetti to a heavy pot that Niall wasn’t aware he owned.

“Yeah, about that. I think I should apologise for being kind of abrupt. I was just upset about Harry moving out,” Niall apologised and took another sip of his coffee. _Bless you, Harry._

Zayn gave him a quick glance and put the sliced bacon in a frying pan. “Actually, I should apologise for being late. I just got off from work and I thought that my phone’s battery would last longer. I bought an alarm clock but it doesn’t seem to be working either”.

Niall’s ears turned a bright crimson. “The, uh, the alarm worked fine. I turned it off because it made noise and I couldn’t sleep”, he explained and Zayn stayed still for a few seconds before he finally moved again.

“Just to clarify,” he said with his back turned to Niall, still cooking something that Niall hoped he was willing to share, “I don’t sleep naked. I’ve just forgotten all my underwear at my previous apartment. But I went and got them now.”

“I wouldn’t have a problem either way,” Niall said and mentally slapped himself for not filtering his thoughts. Zayn laughed and turned to face Niall, who smiled to make him think that he was only joking.

His phone made a noise signifying that he had a text. Niall stood up and went to his bedroom where his Iphone was and grabbed it. It was a text from Harry. _Wake up Briar Rose! Your Prince Phillip (the Disney version not Perrault’s!!!) awaits you. Let him give you your redemptive kiss xx_

Niall giggled, wrote him a quick reply ( _Good morning to you too. Thanks for the coffee. P.S Thought her name was Aurora_ ) and went back to the kitchen. Zayn had served the Carbonara in two dishes.

“I thought that you may be hungry too and Harry told me that you eat anything”, Zayn said and Niall quickly nodded. “Yes, it smells delicious,” he replied and sat opposite to Zayn.

They both ate in silence for a while until Zayn broke it. “So you and Harry are really close,” he stated and Niall nodded.

“Yep,” he replied popping the “p” (and accidentally spitting a piece of bacon in the meantime), “we met at primary school and we’ve been best friends ever since”. Zayn was looking him in the eyes and Niall had a hard time meeting his gaze. He stood up to grab the water jug and two glasses - mostly to get away from Zayn’s gaze – and poured himself a glass of water once he sat back down. “What about you and Louis?”

Zayn swallowed his bite and wiped his mouth with a white napkin. “We went to the same secondary school for a year until I moved but we were never really friends. We just hung out sometimes. But then he moved to London and we, like, bumped into each other last year and hung out a couple of times. It’s not like he had more time to spare anyway, since he’s always with Harry.”

Niall agreed, laughing but simultaneously being really careful to not let any spaghetti get out of his mouth. “Harry can be a little time consuming, that’s true.”

Zayn left his fork on his plate, indicating that he had finished even though there were still a bit of spaghetti left on it. “He seemed like a good guy. Really likeable,” he said before getting up and throwing the leftovers in the trash.

“What did that curly charmer do to you?” Niall asked curiously and then held a moment of silence for the wasted spaghetti.

“Well,” Zayn started saying as he put his plate and fork in the dishwasher,” he did exclaim that he loved me when I said that the fridge looks like an entrance to Narnia.”

This time, Niall didn’t have anything in his mouth so he allowed himself to laugh loudly. “I’ve never thought of it that way. If I had, then maybe I wouldn’t dislike it in the first place.”

Zayn smiled adoringly and took Niall’s plate (which was completely empty) and fork, despite his protests and put it along with his.

“Your Carbonara was delizioso!” Niall exclaimed and went to the bathroom to take a piss and wash his hands and mouth.

“Consider it an apology dish. If I had time, I’d make you a crème brûlée too,” Zayn said and Niall laughed.

“If this is the way you apologise, then maybe I should find more reasons for you to,” he replied and laughed again. Zayn smiled and followed him to the living room where they both sat; Niall on the puff – he had really forgotten how much he liked sitting there- and Zayn on the sofa.

“So, what do you study?” Niall asked, looking at the ceiling. He felt far more relaxed now that he was fully awake and fed. He didn’t feel intimidated by Zayn; or at least at not to the extent that he couldn’t hold a conversation with him.

“I study at the Royal Holloway University. I want to be an English teacher. What about you?”

“At Guildhall School. I don’t know what I want to be but I’m sure I want it to be related to music,” he replied and turned to look at Zayn. “You said that yesterday you were at work. Where do you work?”

Zayn smiled faintly. “I work at a bookstore, a few blocks away from here. It was one of the basic reasons why I wanted to move here. My previous flat was too far away to get there on foot and I was late almost every time when I took the bus; not that Mr. Ollivander ever yelled at me but I didn’t feel good with myself. So-”

“Mr. Ollivander?” Niall interrupted. “You mean like the wandmaker in Harry Potter?”

Zayn giggled. “Yeah. His real name is Oliver Anderson and he has this belief that anyone who doesn’t read books, it’s because he hasn’t yet been chosen by the right book. That and he has also a weird fascination with Rowling, so I always call him that,” he explained and Niall found himself being captivated by the way Zayn’s lips formed every word and smiles now and then.

“Anyway, what I was saying?” he wondered aloud and put his head on his right hand, his mouth slightly open and his eyes looking upwards. “Oh yes,” he exclaimed and his eyes sparkled. “I work there at the weekdays, usually in the mornings, and then some Saturdays I work as a dj in a friend’s bar.”

“Really?” Niall asked, surprised. “Are you any good?”

“Well, I don’t wanna brag but quite a few people come to hear dj Malik,” he said with a shrug and was able to keep a straight face for a few seconds before he burst into laughter. Niall just stared at him smiling until Zayn stopped laughing. “No, seriously. I’m not like Calvin Harris but I’m good.”

Niall nodded, unable to wipe the smile off his face. “And do you make ends meet? Because if you want, we can discuss the…”

This time it was Zayn who interrupted him, raising and shaking his hands. “No, I’m fine. Your rent is already a little low, I think. That or I was robbed at my old place. But anyway, I make enough money myself and my parents send me some more, so I’m totally fine. Do you work anywhere?”

Niall sighed. “No, my father is pretty negative towards me getting a job. He claims that I should finish my studies first and then start looking for a job. He puts a lot of money in my bank account to secure that.”

“And why don’t you just find a job without telling your father?” Zayn asked furrowing his eyebrows.

Niall immediately grew defensive, bringing his legs close to his body. “I can’t,” he answered a little abruptly, a reaction he regretted. The relationship between him and his father wasn’t Zayn’s fault. “And either way, I wouldn’t like to be a waiter, for example.”

“What would you want?” Zayn asked, not pressing the issue with his father and Niall was grateful for that.

“I don’t know. Maybe work in a guitar shop? Again, I’d like something with music.”

“Oh, so you play the guitar,” Zayn changed the subject completely away from his father and Niall became sure that he would like him.

***

They soon fell into a routine in the next few weeks. Zayn would unknowingly wake him up in the morning, as he listened to old rock, and then would leave for work. Niall would sleep again until noon when the smell of something delicious that Zayn would have cooked would bring him back from his dreams. They would eat together and then Zayn would take a nap until six pm. When he would wake up, they would both sit in the living room; Niall playing with his phone and Zayn reading a book. At night, they may go to a bar along with the rest of the boys or stay at home, just talking.

Niall gets to know him and he’s not sure what he finds more surprising: that he can hear Zayn talking for hours without getting bored or that he finds himself opening to this complete stranger. He learns that Zayn is British Pakistani and that his mother is of Irish descent (“Really? I’m Irish too!”), that he has an older sister and two younger ones, that he’s Muslim. Zayn reveals to him that he had faced racism in his school years and how he felt insecure about his appearance due to his mixed heritage (“Seriously? I bet most of your schoolmates drooled over you”). Tells him that when he was a little boy he wanted to be a singer –and thus the microphone tattoo- that his first tattoo was his grandparent’s name written in Arabic and that he is a sucker for comic books.

Niall sucked everything in, every piece of information, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Zayn’s a great speaker, the kind that doesn’t speak too much but when they decide to, they force you to listen, keeping you captivated. But soon, Niall finds out that Zayn is also a great listener. He doesn’t tell Zayn about his family or about his previous sexual partners but he tells him everything about his school years; how he was lovable in primary school but then in secondary school he was completely irrelevant. That he used to hate his body which was skinny but still flabby and that he wouldn’t smile because he didn’t like his crooked teeth until he got braces.

He didn’t go near the subject of sexuality, not being entirely sure what Zayn’s reaction would be if he learnt that he was bisexual. He wouldn’t be a homophobe and still hang out with Louis but Niall didn’t want to change Zayn’s perception of him. It wasn’t like the other boy made any hint about his sexuality either. He seemed straight but Niall had met enough people to know that the way someone dresses or expresses themselves isn’t a certain indication of their sexuality.

Not that Niall would care in any different occasion; it was just that sometimes the urge to kiss Zayn was irresistible like when he would curl up on the sofa, a book on his legs and his pouty lips begging Niall to touch them. But that was only in his imagination; Zayn didn’t make any move whatsoever and Niall had decided that he would stop thinking about him.

And so the weeks passed, their college classes started and Niall found it easier to keep his mind off of Zayn. However it didn’t help that they were sleeping in the same home and spending most of their free time together. Zayn was kind and interesting and handsome and hot and sometimes Niall wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with him; strip him or punch him.

But he knew that there was no chance of anything happening between them. Even if he did like people of the same gender, Niall imagined him to be with someone like David Gandy or Colton Haynes. And, as much as he was confident in his appearance – a feeling he had worked for years to obtain- he knew that he was no match for him.

So, he put all his fantasies aside and forced himself to settle for being only his friend.

***

"Hello there, late boys,” Louis greeted them when he opened the door of his apartment.

“My fault,” Zayn stated, raising both of his hands and letting himself in, after he had wiped his shoes on the doormat, followed by Niall who held a bottle of red wine.

“He couldn’t decide whether he should wear the red scarf or not!” Niall exclaimed and handed Louis the bottle. “Is everybody here?” he asked and took off his tweed bomber jacket.

“Yes. Liam arrived earlier than everyone as always,” Louis said and rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t even ready! Anyway, Ed and Nick came on time and Cara arrived with Rita a few minutes ago.”

Niall breathed a sigh of relief and stepped into the kitchen where everyone had taken their seats. Louis had put a lot of time in this dinner party; it was like every year he got better at organising these back-to-uni themed dinners. Niall was sure that the fact that it was the first time Harry and Louis held it together as a couple in their apartment, played a key role in the neatness and elegance of the table. They had set it with a white linen tablecloth, on top of which were crystal white wine glasses and fine china dinner plates, along with red napkins.

Niall greeted everyone -hug and kiss on the cheek with Liam, handshake with Ed (Harry and Louis’ friend), a verbal greeting with Nick (Louis’ ex and currently friend who Harry wasn’t really fond of), a kiss on the cheek with Cara (his ex and Harry’s friend) and a hug with Rita (Cara’s best friend) - and then headed to the kitchen to find Harry, who was placing potatoes on a platter, being extra careful to not stain his black polka shirt.

“What you will be serving us tonight, Hannibal?” Niall asked and Harry raised his head smiling.

“A roast leg of lamb, dear Graham. Nick came a little late for me to cook him.” Niall laughed and hugged Harry. “Missed you,” he said and Harry kissed him on the cheek. “Missed you too.”

“Alright, alright, enough with the sappiness, my guests are hungry,” Louis said as he burst inside the room and grabbed the plate.

“Is everything okay?” Niall asked Harry, once they were alone again. He hadn’t seen him for over a week and they had only communicated via messages on Viber.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. My classes are a little boring and Louis steals most of the sheet, but I’m doing pretty well,” he replied. Niall could tell that Harry was tired from the preparations for the dinner party but he wasn’t completely sure if that was the only reason for the dark circles under his eyes.

“We should join the others,” Harry suggested and Niall followed him to the dining room. Harry sat next to Louis at the head of the table while Niall sat between Zayn and Liam. From the looks of it, Zayn had already been introduced to the others and had even started a conversation with Ed.

Louis had already served the lamb and the salad to the plates and had poured the red wine to the glasses. He raised his glass for a toast and everyone mimicked him. “To new beginnings,” he proposed and gave Harry a peck on the lips.

They all took a sip and then started eating, praising Louis for his cooking and holding light conversations. Niall would be having a great time if Zayn didn’t turn to smile at him every now and then, offering him his potatoes. It wasn’t that he didn’t want extra food; his stomach was always open for well cooked potatoes. It was that something was fluttering inside his stomach every time Zayn did that.

***

“Alright, everyone stand up!” Louis declared and ignored the protests of everyone, who knew what Louis had in mind; everyone except Zayn.

“What’s going on?” he whispered and Niall shivered; Zayn’s lips were too close for his good. Previously, he almost had a heart attack when Zayn decided to stretch and then put his right arm beside Niall, on his chair. Liam, with whom Niall was talking at the moment, noticed his reaction and looked worried for a little until he noticed Zayn’s hand and nodded to himself.

“It’s a game Louis has come up with and we play it every time we gather in one of his dinner parties. It’s his tradition. It’s like Truth or Dare only there’s no dare and you don’t ask one person to tell the truth. You ask everyone else to answer truthfully on a question about the person that sits to your right.”

Zayn nodded and they both stood up to join the rest of them in the living room, where they had formed a circle.

“Okay, so everyone is aware of the game,” Louis stated, probably guessing that Niall had already filled Zayn in. “So, Harry, begin.”

Harry groaned. “Louis, you know I don’t like this game because I never know what to ask!” he exclaimed but Louis, who sat right next to him, pouted, which seemed to be enough for Harry to give in. “Okay! So… who thinks that Louis should get a haircut?”

“Oh come on, Harold, that’s a lame question,” Louis complained but Harry just shrugged. “It’s not against the rules,” he defended himself.

“But there are no rules!” Louis cried and everyone giggled. “Anyway,” Louis concluded, “Niall go on, answer.”

“I believe that is about time,” he replied truthfully only to receive a smack on his arm from Louis.

“You traitor!” he yelled and Niall was quick to explain himself. “You know I don’t like guys with long hair, Lou.” Harry couched. “Except for Harry, of course.”

“Enough with your mumbling, Judas”, Louis said and pointed at Ed. “I think you should get it cut too,” the red haired lad said and Louis raised his hands in surrender.

“I think that you should do whatever you want with your hair,” Liam stated and Louis smiled. “Thank you, Liam. I’ve taught you well.”

“I believe you’re hot regardless of your hair,” Nick said, causing Harry to roll his eyes, and Louis to raise his thumb.

“I’m sorry Lou, but Harry’s right. Short suits you better,” Zayn said and Louis placed his hand over his heart. “I can’t stand this treachery,” he said. “You’ve told me that you would also let your hair get longer!” Louis accused him but Zayn just shrugged looking down.

Louis got a “no” from both Cara and Rita and raised his right arm in a fist to declare his victory. “The tribe has spoken. My hair shall remain long and excellent,” he said but then Harry whispered something to him.

“I’ve just changed my mind,” he announced coughing a little, “I’ll get a haircut.” When Niall looked at Harry questioningly, he pushed his cheeks with his tongue pretending that he was giving a blowjob (and caused Niall to laugh loudly).

“So, now it’s my try. Listen and learn, my dear Harold. I want you to answer honestly on whether or not you have made any sexual and inappropriate thoughts about our young Nialler.”

Niall’s ears reddened and his eyes almost fell on the ground. “What? You don’t have to…”

“Don’t ruin the game, Niall,” Louis interrupted him. “Next time pick your foes wiser.”

Niall sighed and turned to Ed. “It’s alright, answer to that maniac.” Ed nodded after he was given the permission and replied negatively, not surprising anyone since he was straight.

What was surprising though was Liam’s answer. “Yes,” he said and Niall turned to look at him shocked.

Louis whistled. “Care to explain, heteroflexible boy?” he asked and Liam nodded, his whole neck turning into a tomato.

“One time when we were at a club, you had drunk a little too much and when we danced, you were… looking for friction.” If Niall could dig a hole into the ground and disappear for the rest of eternity, he would do it without thinking. He remembered that day. It was a few months after he had met Liam and he still had this crush on him. The alcohol had made him think that grinding on Liam would make him desirable but when he was sober again he had regretted it. He had never guessed that Liam had been aroused.

“Nick?” Louis asked to shift attention from Liam, reminding Niall why he had liked him in the first time.

“No, sorry. I prefer men more… curvy,” he answered staring at Louis, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Harry.

“For God’s sake. Seriously?” he whispered but Niall wasn’t the only one who heard him.

“Did you say something, Harold? Are you too eager to answer?” Louis asked and Harry shook his head. “Isn’t it Zayn’s turn?” he asked back but Louis persisted.

“We’ll get to him, don’t worry. I’m just curious for your answer,” Louis replied and he and Harry exchanged a look until Harry answered. “Yes.”

“Harry!” Niall exclaimed and Harry shrugged. “What? It’s not my fault you eat grapes that way,” he said and Liam nodded several times.

“What’s wrong with me eating grapes?” Niall asked glaring at Harry, but it was Liam the one that answered. “You, like, suck the grape from the canopy instead of biting it.”

Niall tried to remember the way he ate grapes but he was unable to do so. “Anyway”, he said, “Rita?”

“Sorry, Ni. You’re not really my type,” she replied and Niall wanted to scream “thank you”.

“Well, we were together for six months, so yes,” Cara said and Niall nodded. He didn’t know if Harry was right and she hadn’t get over him, even though it had been three years, he did know however that she meant a lot to him, being the first girl to fall in love with.

He had forgotten it was Zayn’s turn until his voice interrupted his thoughts. “Yes,” he said and his words were followed by silence. This time even Louis didn’t interfere to make it less awkward. Niall just stared at Zayn, being unable to fully comprehend his words.

It was Zayn who broke the silence. “One time, I saw you getting out of the bathroom, you had just taken a shower and your towel was really low on your hips,” he blurted out quickly and raised his head to meet Niall’s stare.

Niall felt numb. He wanted to ask him a dozens of questions but he was also afraid of the answers. Yes, Zayn said that he was sexually aroused by the naked sight of him but that didn’t necessarily mean that he liked him. Liam had also thought of him that way and Niall was sure that there was no way he and Liam would ever happen. If Zayn really wanted him, wouldn’t he have done something to reveal it? Or he was just horny one time and Niall just happened to cross his path? Niall couldn’t answer any of these questions and the wine he had drunk earlier made it even more difficult to think clearly.

“Alright,” Louis finally spoke. “Niall it’s your turn.”

***

The rest of the game was a blur for Niall. He didn’t remember what his question about Ed was, neither his answers to the questions of the others. His mind had stuck to Zayn’s “yes” and he had tried to keep his gaze away from him, so as to not betray his feelings. Not that he was really sure what his feelings were. He felt anxious, thrilled and a little scared. He hadn’t felt like this before but then again he had never felt such a strong lust for anyone.

He only broke out of his thoughts when Harry mentioned his name three times in row. “What?” he asked and shook his head to clear his mind. He noticed that Harry, Zayn, Liam and Louis were staring at him while all the others were nowhere to be seen – he vaguely remembered kissing Cara goodbye.

“I said, do you still have that Louis’ voice mail from one year ago. I was just telling Zayn how dramatic he can get sometimes,” Harry explained and Niall nodded, getting his phone out of his pocket and playing the voice mail.

“Niall James Horan, you little Irish shit. First of all, how dare you? Who do you think you are? Have I done anything to mistreat you? On what grounds do you decide to be so mean and cruel to someone who has only ever treated you with kindness and respect? I honestly thought that we could be friends but your latest actions have proven to me how wrong and naïve I’ve been. Is it because I’ve eaten some of your chips? Because I only did so after you gave me your permission. I know how crazy you can get over food, but I never guessed that our friendship would be over due to some salty chips.” The voice mail ended and there was a moment of silence because everyone started laughing.

“Oh my God, what did you do to him?” Zayn asked with tears in his eyes.

“Nothing!” Niall exclaimed. “I had called Harry and I accidentally interrupted this diva’s sleep.”

“Like you can talk about annoying habits and over the top reactions with your name thing,” Louis said and Liam was quick to agree with him.

“What’s the name thing?” Zayn inquired and Niall talked first, not trusting his friends not to exaggerate.

“Sometimes when I already know a person with a certain name, I find it difficult to call other people by that name,” he explained.

“He called me Payne for over two months before he actually called me with my first name,” Liam complained and Niall quickly defended himself.

“One of my brother’s friends was called Liam and we used to hang out a lot. And as for you, I had a classmate named Louis.”

“You called me Zayn from the beginning”, the black haired boy stated. “Haven’t you met anyone with the same name?”

“No, actually I have, in primary school. Although I think he wasn’t named Zayn, but Zane or something. He was really quiet and used to be on his own all the time. I invited to my birthday party but he never came and then when we went back to school, we learnt that he had moved away. At that time, I thought he had moved because of me.”

“I don’t remember him,” Harry said as he laid down on Louis’ legs.

“You came after he’d left,” Niall explained and Harry nodded.

***

“You seem a little off,” Zayn said as Niall turned left at the corner with his Range Rover. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just… we had agreed with Harry to watch a movie tonight but he just canceled it,” Niall replied trying to not reveal how hurt he had been when Harry, just before Niall and Zayn left his and Louis’ apartment, told him that he had forgotten and had already scheduled to have dinner with Louis’ parents.

“Why don’t we watch it together?” Zayn suggested and Niall turned to him enthusiastically.

“Really?” he asked and parked his car.

‘Yes, we could watch it now, if you want. I don’t want to sleep yet.”

“Me neither. I’ve already downloaded it onto my usb so we can watch it now,” Niall said and almost run to their apartment to grab his usb. He hadn’t watched any movies since Harry had moved out, only TV series, and he had forgotten how much he missed it.

“What are we watching?” Zayn asked indifferently as he sat on the sofa and Niall joined him.

“The other woman,” he replied and ignored Zayn’s groan. “Sush, you’ll see that you like it.”

***

Niall really liked the movie and squealed every time Nicki Minaj appeared on his screen. He laughed a few times and before he knew it, the movie had ended and Iggy Azalea was singing a cover of ‘Coming Out’.

“I didn’t expect it to be so good,” he said as he turned the TV off and Zayn snorted. “Don’t act like you didn’t like it! I saw you smirking and smiling at least in two funny scenes.”

“Okay, I admit it; I expected it to be far worse. But I do think that they went a little too far in their revenge.”

“I disagree. That’s what you get for cheating on your wife,” Niall said a little coldly and stood up.

“Are your parents divorced?” Zayn asked and took off his black glasses. (Niall couldn’t believe that someone could be equally hot with and without glasses).

“Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?” Niall had grown a little defensive through the years in anything that was related with his family.

“Just the way you seemed to be so merciless against cheaters. Thought that your father was…”

“The only one my father had cheated on my mother with was his job,” he interrupted and Zayn nodded.

Niall could see that he had guessed there was more to this but he didn’t push it and Niall didn’t provide him with an explanation. He didn’t want to drag Zayn into his shit.

***

“I really don’t understand why you don’t just ask him,” Harry said the minute he walked inside Niall and Zayn’s apartment.

“I’ve already told you; since he hadn’t told me himself, I can’t just ask him. I don’t want to seem like a stalker.”

“You spend almost every hour of the day together so I think you’ve passed that stage a long time ago,” he said and jumped onto the sofa.

“I need some support here, please. Did you figure out his Instagram name?” Niall asked as he grabbed his phone and opened the said app.

“Yes, Louis told me that it’s his name reversed,” he replied indifferently and turned on the TV, making a little room for Niall to sit beside him.

Niall nodded and typed ‘kilamnyaz’ but nothing came up. “Try with his first name first,” Harry suggested and Niall did so but Zayn’s Instagram still didn’t appear.

“Are you sure that’s what Louis told you?” Niall asked and Harry shrugged.

“Yes, but I can call him if you want,” Harry said and tried to fish his phone out of his pocket but Niall stopped him.

“No! I don’t want Louis to guess that I’m trying to creep Zayn’s instagram and go all Hitch on me.”

“That was my first Will Smith movie,” Harry reminisced, but Niall ignored him. He tried to think of all the different combination Zayn’s Instagram name could be, until an idea came up to him.

“Zain,” he whispered and Harry looked curiously at him.

“What? Is he coming?”

Niall shook his head. “No, Zayn had told me that his name is spelled with an ‘I’ but he prefers it with a ‘y’”, he explained and quickly typed ‘niazkilam’, only to see Zayn’s face covered in a beanie with the big NYC letters. “Bingo!”

“You found it?” Harry questioned, stooping to take a look but Niall held his mobile out and covered his eyes with his hand.

“Here, take it, I can’t look. Just tell me if he has any photo with a boyfriend or a girlfriend.”

“Well he does have a few photos with some guys, but they seem to be his friends or relatives,” Harry said and handed Niall’s phone back to its owner.

Niall took a quick peek, but he also didn’t find any pics that would suggest Zayn was in a relationship with anyone. “Is this eyeliner or is it my imagination?” Harry tapped the Iphone and Zayn’s face filled the screen. He was sitting on a sofa –that Niall realised was the same sofa he was sitting on now- shirtless, wearing a chain and pulling his eye with his long index finger. Niall nodded; it did look like he was wearing eyeliner.

“Anyway,” he said, closing his phone, already planning to stare at Zayn’s photos when he was alone, “this doesn’t help us understand whether he has a girlfriend or a boyfriends, neither his sexuality.”

“Have you been to his room?” Harry asked and Niall turned his head to look at him questioningly.

“No, why?”

“Well, if he is in a relationship, then he’ll probably have a photo or something laying around. Even though I can’t see how he could be in a relationship and still hang out with you all the time.”

“He may have a long-distance one.”

Harry shrugged and stood up. “Will you come?”

“Well, he did say I could go to his room whenever I want to borrow one of his books,” Niall said though it sounded weak even to his own ears. After a moment of moral uncertainty, he followed Harry in Zayn’s room.

He hadn’t been there since that time he walked in to turn off Zayn’s alarm, and at that time he was too busy staring at his naked body to notice much else about the room. Not that it had a lot of stuff; it was mostly like how Harry had left it with the exception of a huge bookcase that Zayn had brought from his previous apartment a few weeks after he had settled in.

Niall searched the room for any sign of a relationship while Harry walked to the bookcase and whistled. “He reads a lot of books,” he stated as he ran his hand over the books. “Tolstoy, Kafka, Steinbeck and what’s… found it!”

Niall quickly run next to him and grabbed the photo that Harry was holding. He had expected to find a high resolution picture depicting Zayn with a young, unbelievably hot and godlike girl but instead the photo was badly faded and showed a bunch of kids.

“What the fuck is that?” Harry asked, peeking over Niall’s shoulder.

“It’s him as a kid,” Niall replied, having spotted what must have been a six year old Zayn, smiling at something in the other corner that wasn’t visible due to the bad quality. “Look what a cute kid he was!”

“Niall…isn’t that Miss Green?” Harry pointed to a black woman standing in the centre of the kids, smiling and looking directly at the camera. Niall tore his gaze away from Zayn, followed Harry’s finger and saw his teacher from primary school.

“Oh my God!” Niall exclaimed, and when he took a closer look at the photo, he realised that he recognised the faces of all the kids that were smiling at the camera.

“That kid you invited to your party who never came. Are you sure he wasn’t named Zayn?”

Niall’s mouth hung low and he was unable to answer. It was like his mind had stopped working, too shocked to do anything other than search for himself in what he was completely sure was his class photo. “What the fuck is going on? he wondered after he couldn’t spot his face.

“My guess? You and Zayn went to the same primary school, something you obviously have forgotten, but I’m not so sure about him.”

“And why didn’t he tell me?”

“Maybe he was afraid that he would seem like a total stalker or he wasn’t really sure that you were his old schoolmate until it was too late to reveal it,” Harry made his assumptions that Niall couldn’t deny it; they sounded logical. “What I’m curious about is who he’s looking at so adoringly. Every other kid is looking straight at the camera but he’s staring at the far corner. Also, where are you?”

“I have this picture,” Niall said and Harry moved to stand in front of him.

“Here?”

“No, at my mother’s house. She kept albums with every photo of me as a child. I bet she has it and in far better condition than this one.”

“Okay, let’s go get it,” Harry said, taking the photo from Niall’s hands and putting back where he had found it.

“What?” Niall asked, still unable to move.

“You don’t have any lectures, I’m already late for my own and it’s still ten in the morning so we have plenty of time to drive to Redditch. You only have to find an excuse for Zayn as to why you were missing for most of the day.”

“He works after his lectures and then he’s going to get his hair cut. We’ll be back before him. What are you going to tell Louis?”

“I’ll tell him that we are going to spend some time alone,” Harry said, shrugging as he exited the room. “Didn’t Zayn say that he would let his hair grow longer?”

“He changed his mind,” Niall said indifferently. “Let me call my mother.”

“Miss Gallagher will be thrilled!” Harry grabbed his car keys and smiled widely at Niall.

“This is totally crazy,” he stated before his mother answered and squealed when she learnt that they would be paying her a visit.

***

“Have I said how crazy this is?” Niall asked from the passenger seat and Harry grunted.

“Yes, numerous times. But tell me, did you have anything better to do?”

Niall didn’t answer and instead turned on the radio, searching through the stations until FKA twigs’ voice echoed inside the car.

“You know this whole situation reminds me of the ‘girl with the dragon tattoo’,” Harry said once the song was over. “I’d do better than Daniel Craig.”

“Why would you get to be Blomkvist? I’m the one with blondish brown hair and blue eyes.”

“Fine, I’ll be Lisbeth. She’s unique in her own way, just like me.”

Niall snorted, only to receive a smack on his arm, which caused him to laugh loudly. _Yes, I didn’t have anything better to do_ , he thought as he rested his head against the window.

***

The rest of their road trip went smoothly with them holding light conversation and laughing all the time. Niall would be lying if he said he didn’t miss this; just being with Harry, the two of them against the world. Even moments of silence that Niall normally despised, with Harry they felt like they were of the same importance as any serious talk they had. They were never awkward, just comforting.

After an hour, they stopped to get coffee and then they continued their trip. If, later, anyone asked Niall what they had discussed, he wouldn’t be able to mention even one topic. But at that time, he felt like they had talked about everything. Every little detail of their days that the other one had missed was discussed in depth.

When they reached his mother’s house, Niall felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders and he greeted his mother with a big smile on his face. After the typical greetings, Niall and Harry climbed up to Niall’s room, which was exactly how he had left it when he was eighteen.

“Wow,” Harry breathed. “Lots of memories.”

“Yeah,” Niall whispered, not trusting his voice not to crack. He took a final look at the room, his minds replaying some of the scenes that had took place in there (most of them included Harry), and then walked to one of his shelves that his mother had put all the photograph albums. He grabbed them (there were five) and moved them on top of his bed, where Harry had sat. “Take a look at them to see if the photo is here and I’ll be back in a few”.

Harry nodded and opened one of them just as Niall was walking out of his room. He found his mother at the garden, pouring homemade lemonade to two glasses, as if she knew that he would come to find her. “Hey,” he greeted her again and his mother smiled, pointing at the chair across from her and Niall passed the little round white table.

“How are you?” she asked and Niall waited to swallow his sip before answering.

“I’m fine.” His mother nodded as if this was enough of an answer and took a sip of her glass.

“You seem…more calm and relaxed. I can’t quite put a finger on it but it’s noticeable. Have you met any girl?”

“Or a boy,” Niall added coldly. “Why do you always have to forget to ask about that?”

His mother looked at him sternly until she sighed. “Look, I’m not going to pretend that I’ll probably always prefer you find a girl over a boy. However, I want you to be happy no matter who you decide to share your bed with.”

Niall nodded and stared at his glass for a few seconds. “It’s my new roommate.”

“What’s his name?” she asked smiling.

“Zayn. Buts it’s not like we’re dating. We’re just friends.”

“Are you in love with him?”

Niall grunted as he emptied his glass. “You know what my opinion on this is. You can’t be in love with someone unless they are also in love with you. Otherwise, it’s a crush and yeah I do think I have a crush on him.”

“And how are you so sure that he isn’t in love with you too?” she asked and moved her blond hair away from her face.

Niall opened his mouth but closed it, not being able to come up with an answer. His mother just smiled and finished her glass of lemonade. “Have you talked with Greg at all?”

Niall shook his head negatively and his mother studied him for a while before speaking. “You know you don’t have to do this.”

“I know it. But I want to; he’s my brother.”

“And he’s my son. If I thought that it helped him, I’d be the first to go to the bank, but I don’t think it’s good for him.”

Niall shrugged and stood up. “With David, is…” she started saying but Niall interrupted her.

“You know I don’t want to talk about him. It’s over.” His mother nodded and Niall walked away until her voice made him stop, just before he walked back inside the home.

“You father will host a gala event sometime in the next month. He wants you to be there.”

“I’ll tell Harry that we’ll be eating soon,” he replied instead of answering and went back to his room.

Harry was still lying on his bed, looking at the albums. “Did you find it?” Niall asked and laid next to him.

“No, but I’ve just seen my whole childhood passing in front of my eyes. I’m in most of these pictures. It’s a shame that my parents are on a trip; we could see my mum’s albums too.”

Niall started turning the pages and a big goofy smile appeared on his face as he saw his little self in all the photos. Harry was right; nine out of ten were with him (at the playground, at the garden of each other’s home, at the carnival, at the zoo – Harry crying over a monkey that had stolen his banana and Niall laughing).

“We have experienced a lot together,” Niall stated and Harry turned to lie on his back.

“Niall,” he whispered and Niall mimicked him, placing his head on Harry’s arm. “The reason why I persisted on us getting here is because the last few days I missed you. I know what we said when I moved out but I can’t help but feel that I’m losing you.”

There was a moment of silence before Niall turned his head to stare at Harry. “I missed you too, Haz, and I know that since you moved, we aren’t exactly like we used to be but… you’re not going to get rid of me so easily.”

Harry smiled and wiped his teary eyes with his left hand. “It’s just… I’m not sure if it was a good idea to move out.”

“Is everything okay with Louis?”

“Yeah but… since I moved in with him, we never spend time alone. We’ll only go out with your or other friends and then when we are at his apartment we’ll act like we’re friends; with benefits but still, friends. And it’s not like I think he’s cheating on me or anything but…” His voice trailed off and Niall hugged him.

“You know there’s no way Louis would cheat on you. But, if you want, you can crush at mine for a while. You’re my best friend, Harry. You will never not be a part of my life.”

“Always and forever.”

“The Originals haven’t even aired yet,” Niall said with a faked exaggeration and Harry laughed.

“Come on, let’s solve the mystery, Mister Blomkvist,” Harry prompted, sitting up and grabbing two albums. “These are the ones that I haven’t checked.”

Niall stared at him for a few minutes - the way he pushed his curly locks out of his eyes in such a familiar way and his smiles when he would spot a cute picture – before opening the album.

It was Harry who found it in the last pages of the album. As Niall had guessed, the quality was great and the faces of all the kids were visible. He quickly spotted himself smiling at the camera.

“Why are you smiling at like that?” Harry asked. “You’re just showing your teeth.”

“Hey, don’t mock me! I was only a child, I didn’t know how to smile yet,” Niall defended himself and then he looked for Zayn. He was sitting at the left corner of the photo, smiling with heart eyes at a kid who was standing in the second row. “Do you see what I see?”

“That Zayn is staring adoringly at you with an overly cute smile? Yes.”

***

Niall didn’t really realise what exactly he and Harry had found out for the next hours. After they had eaten their lunch (meatballs with tomato sauce and pasta), he said goodbye to his mother (“I know that you didn’t come to see me but I’m happy you did anyways”) and they began their road trip back to London.

Most of the time in the car, they had spent talking about Harry and Louis’ relationship and what Harry could do to bring back their old flame. It was only after they had almost reached Louis and Harry’s flat that the realisation struck Niall like a hurricane. He had told Harry that he wanted to talk to Louis and that was the reason why he was pacing around their living room, a glass of water in his right hand and his two friends staring him from their sofa.

“And you drove all the way to your mother’s house just to find out who he was staring at?” Louis asked and Niall nodded several times.

“Yes and as I told you, he was staring at me. This is totally crazy, like how is it possible we met again in…”

“Calm down, Aomame, before you start rambling about two moons. I admit that it’s a little strange that from all the people in London, Zayn was the one that became your roommate, but it’s not unbelievable.”

“Are you sure that he didn’t know who he would be sharing his flat with?” Harry asked, a question that Niall was too scared to utter himself.

“Yes. I was the one that told him that one of my friends was looking for a roommate, because he had been complaining about always being late for work. I don’t think I had even mentioned your name.”

“I think he’s right,” Niall agreed. “When we first met, he had this shocked expression on his face. He wasn’t expecting to find me behind the door.”

“I think you should just talk to him,” Louis suggested and Harry nodded. “Zayn probably didn’t want to freak you out by telling you that you were school mates since you didn’t remember him.”

“He was there only for a couple months, how could I remember him?” Niall replied a little coldly, and Louis raised both of his hands. Niall apologised and Louis just shrugged. “Love,” Niall called Harry with the name Miss Green would call him, “could you fill my glass with water?”

Harry nodded and stood up, always answering to that name. Niall took a seat next to Louis. “What did you want to tell me?” he asked.

Niall wasn’t surprised that Louis had understood the reason why he had sent Harry away. “I know I never gave you the ‘hurt my friend and I’ll kill’ speech, because I consider you to be one of my best friends too, and I know that you would never disrespect Harry by cheating on him, however, if Harry doesn’t call me tomorrow to tell me that you went to the movies, had a romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant and then had mind blowing sex, I swear I’ll make Liam kick your ass.” Niall spoke quickly, keeping his tone voice low.

Louis mouth hung open, but before he could speak, Harry walked back in, carrying the glass. Niall stood up, emptied it, kissed them goodbye and left.

***

He was so proud of himself that he didn’t really think what he was going to say to Zayn until it was too late and he was standing in front of the opened door of his flat, dreading going inside.

After he took a deep breath, Niall walked in and found Zayn sitting on the puff, reading a book. “Hey,” he greeted him with a smile and he put the book down. “I didn’t know when you’d be coming home so I didn’t cook anything.”

“It’s fine,” Niall said and sat on their sofa. “I visited my mother with Harry and we ate there.”

Zayn nodded and stared at him, as if he could sense that he wanted to tell him something. “I went to your room.”

“Oh, did you find a book you like? I’m sure Mr. Ollivander will be thrilled, I’ve told him about you and he really wants-”

“I found the photo,” Niall interrupted him and a few seconds passed before Zayn realised what photo he was referring to, and his eyes widened.

“I can explain,” he said and Niall waited for him to do so. “I didn’t know who you were when Louis told me that one of his friends was looking for a roommate, I didn’t even remember your name but when you opened the door, I immediately recognised you. I mean how could I not, you were the only kid in our class that would speak to me and treat me good. I can’t even describe how happy and thrilled I was when you invited to me your party and how sad I was when we moved away and I couldn’t go. Anyway, when I saw you and you didn’t recognise me, I had a moment of self doubt till you told me that you lived at Redditch and then… I don’t know, I guess I looked for an opportunity to tell you without looking like a creep until it was too late.”

It was the first time he had seen Zayn being so upset and talking so fast and so much. “Why didn’t you tell me at Harry and Louis’ dinner?”

“Because I didn’t want to say it in front of everyone! And then you were too upset over Harry and I… why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just – you seem to be so upset over this when, really, it’s no big deal,” Niall explained between his laughs, the bewildered expression on Zayn’s face causing him to laugh louder, until he also smiled.

“It’s no big deal? I thought you would be angry or think of me as a stalker,” he said sounding relieved.

“Well it is, and I was a bit upset at you for not telling me but I’d never think of you like that, Zayn.”

“So… this doesn’t change anything between us?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

“No,” Niall replied calmly. “We’re back to normal.”

***

Everything did go back to normal in the next days. Niall didn’t have much time to think about the recent revelations, between his lectures and the studying. He didn’t have time to flirt with anyone either. A guy from his university had asked him for his phone number and a girl had been staring at him in the lectures, but he didn’t feel like dating.

Zayn hadn’t brought anyone to their flat either. There had been enough hints to make Niall sure that Zayn liked boys. He had asked Louis one time, as they were waiting for Harry to get ready, and he had confirmed that Zayn was gay – a fact that Louis had only learnt a few days before. That night, the three of them along with Liam had gone to the bar where Zayn played as a dj and his good mood for actually having a shot with Zayn was momentarily ruined when he introduced them to Luke, a stud with raven black hair and sparkling green eyes, who Niall immediately disliked. The worst part was that Luke was a really good guy and also a great dancer and soon Niall found himself dancing with him, Luke’s hands travelling from his spine to the small of his back. He probably would have made out with him, if Zayn hadn’t appeared to take Niall to see his dj set.

Apart from that almost hook-up, Niall didn’t have any action for over one month, as Louis had pointed to him numerous times. And as much as he denied it to Liam and Harry, he wasn’t really sure if his pining for Zayn had a key role in this.

***

“I don’t think I would ever rim anyone. I mean, it’s the same hole where shit comes from,” Niall, who sat on the puff, said and wrinkled his nose. He didn’t know how the conversation between him and Zayn had got to this point; they had started talking about ‘blue is the warmest colour’ and somehow they ended up talking about sex.

“I wouldn’t say that I love it but since it gives pleasure to my partner… It’s not like I would ever have sex with anyone who doesn’t follow basic rules of hygiene,” Zayn replied, lying down on the sofa.

“Yeah but it’s not that it gives that much pleasure anyway. Or at least, I didn’t really enjoy it the last time they did it to me.”

Zayn shrugged and Niall wasn’t certain if he had imagined the confidence in his action-as if anyone that Zayn had rimmed had enjoyed it- or it was just his imagination.

“I also don’t like when someone is giving me head and then proceeds to kiss me. I don’t know who started these kind of rumours, but I don’t like tasting my own jizz,” Niall added.

“You’re a little uptight about sex, you know that?” Zayn teased him. “I’m sure that you want your partners to be perfectly shaved too.”

“Well, yeah!” Niall exclaimed. “It’s not only a matter of beauty, it’s about hygiene. I don’t care about a man’s ass but I wouldn’t give blowjob to someone who doesn’t shave his pubes. Or fuck a girl who doesn’t shave her pubic hair. Don’t you have a problem with it?”

“Well, most men trim their pubes or shave them and I don’t have a problem unless there’s a whole bush down there. But I do prefer it when they don’t have hair on their butt. It makes things less sticky.”

Talking about sex with Zayn had made it even more difficult for Niall to not fantasise about Zayn being stark naked (as he had seen him that first morning he had moved in) and climbing on top of him, kissing the red lips tattoo and leaving marks on his skin. Niall coughed and spoke, to get his mind off his sexual fantasies. “Guys give better blowjobs than girls,” he mumbled and Zayn gave him a weird look. “Yeah, because most girls think that it’s enough to put your dick on their mouth while guys know exactly what to do,” Niall added.

Zayn raised his eyebrows to indicate that he didn’t have any comparisons. “I’ll have to make you more relaxed in sex,” Zayn mumbled, the tone of his voice so low that Niall decided to ignore his words, in case his mind had started playing tricks on him.

“I had my one of my best blowjobs while I was driving on the Highway.”

“Well, I don’t drive so…”

“You don’t drive?” Niall asked surprised and sat up.

“Well, I do have a license but I’m too scared to drive. My father had even bought me a Yaris but I’ve only driven two or three times since I got it.”

“I guess we have to change that.”

***

“I can’t believe you talked me into it,” Zayn said as he sat in his Yaris’ driver seat.

“Oh, stop complaining at last! Your sister lives just outside London, so you’ll be driving only for half an hour. Also, we made a deal.”

“You know at that time, it seemed like a hell of a deal to me. Now, I’m not so sure.”

“Shut up and drive”, Niall replied and Zayn snorted before he twisted the ignition key. Liam had driven them to Zayn’s sister’s apartment before he went to Wolverhampton to visit his parents. Zayn’s sister was working when they got there and they found Zayn’s car parked a few metres away from her apartment.

Niall had persuaded Zayn to drive from his sister’s apartment to theirs, by promising to him that he would tell him everything about his family. “So, spill the beans,” Zayn prompted but Niall shook his head.

“I’d prefer if you reached the motorway first. I don’t want to relive Clueless.”

“As if,” Zayn replied and Niall turned to look at him with wide eyes. “What? Did you think I didn’t understand all your references?”

“You just earned your drive time story.” Niall’s smile faded and he sat straight up. “Okay, so where should I begin? My parents didn’t have an epic meeting or anything. My mother was with her friends in McDonald's when my uncle – my father’s brother- asked her mobile number because my father was too afraid to. They got married after a year, more because they were both a little old and too afraid that they would never make a family rather than from love. They were very different. My mother wanted to live all types of adventures travelling the world while my dad wanted to settle into a house and focus on his work.”

“What’s his job?” Zayn asked as he took the left corner.

“He finished law school and worked as a lawyer for a few years until he turned to politics. He was a great speaker and he had a great impact. He’s now a member of the London Assembly and he will probably run for a mayor in the next elections.” Zayn nodded and Niall continued.

“Their marriage had started going downhill when my mum got pregnant with my brother, Greg. Since she had to look after him, my mother gave up on her dreams of adventures and for the next few years they were fine. But as my brother started getting older, so my father’s responsibilities grew. He only came home to sleep, something that my mother didn’t particularly like and they would have separated if it hadn’t been for me. Having realised his mistakes with Greg, my father had decided to leave his work for a while to raise me together.” Niall paused to take a breath and glanced at Zayn who kept his eyes on the road.

“I wasn’t like Greg. He was the first child and my father, in order to fill his absence, spoilt him to no end. He grew to become selfish and spoilt. I was shy and did everything others wanted me to do. Still, he didn’t last long. After a few years, he fell back to his old habits. When I was six, they split up. Everything was normal for six years until my brother had an episode of psychosis.” For the first time, Zayn turned to look at him but he quickly drew his eyes back on the road. Niall could see that he was a little tense from driving, especially when a truck had overtaken them, but he seemed more relaxed now, listening to Niall carefully.

“I don’t remember much of those days. I think our minds push off the really bad memories. Not that anyone ever talks about it; they all act like it never happened. But I do.” His voice had started to tremble and he had to stop to take a few breaths. “Anyway, after Greg started taking his meds, he got better but the relationship with my father became worse. Greg blamed his issues on our father and his absence and they got into a huge fight that I don’t know the details of. Since then, my father has stopped giving any money to him and they still don’t speak.”

“Is your brother alright now?”

“Yes. He’s married with a child, a little boy named Theo. I’m an uncle!” he replied smiling.

Zayn smiled too. “When you said that your father didn’t want you to work, what did you mean?”

“My father always expected me to follow in his footsteps. Unlike Greg, my grades were really good but I was always interested in music. It took a while for my father, but when he saw that I was insisting, he came to terms with it. However, he told me that I should get my degree as soon as possible without working. I worked as a waiter for a few months but then somehow my father found out about it and made the owner fire me.”

Zayn nodded. “And what does your brother do for a living?”

“He doesn’t work. Every month I send him most of the money that my father gives me.”

“That doesn’t sound so right,” Zayn said raising his eyebrows.

“I know but he’s my brother, you know? I can’t do anything else.”

“Well yeah, but he should be living on his own since he has his own family. Not wait for his little brother to send him money,” he said and Niall nodded.

“That’s what my mum has been saying to me,” he stated.

They drove in silence for the next few minutes and Niall was surprised that he didn’t feel the need to break it. When they arrived at the street of their flat, Niall felt lighter. There weren’t many people who knew about his family – Harry, Cara, Louis and Liam- and by revealing it to Zayn, he felt like he had grown closer to him.

“I made it!” Zayn exclaimed when he parked his car next to Niall’s.

“Of course you made it!” Niall replied and hugged him. Zayn was still for a moment before he hugged him back too and Niall placed his head on the crook of his neck, inhaling his cologne. “I’m so proud of you.”

Later, Niall wouldn’t be so sure as for what reason he had said that; because Zayn finally drove after all those years or because he had turned out to be someone who Niall could trust with his secrets.

***

Niall grunted as he opened his eyes. He had a terrible headache and his throat felt like it was made out of broken glass. Usually, he would feel that way if he had drunk a lot the previous night. However, all he did was stay at home with Zayn.

A rock song echoed inside their apartment and even though it was at low volume, it drilled Niall’s head. He stood up and walked over to Zayn’s room, the door of which was wide open. With every step, his head pounded and he was sure that it would explode if he kept walking. As soon as stepped in, he turned off the music and closed his eyes. It was like he had grown a second heart inside his head or like the one that was supposed to be in his chest had moved.

After he confirmed that his heart was where it was supposed to be, he opened his eyes only to see a portrait of a blond guy with blue eyes. He hadn’t noticed it when he had walked in but there was a canvas along with a palette filled with colours. It took Niall a while before he realised that the person on the canvas was him. He wasn’t like he looked in the mirror though; the painted face was much more beautiful than he considered himself to be.

“Hey,” Zayn greeted as soon as he returned from the bathroom. “Did I wake you up? I find it easier to paint when I listen to music.”

Niall turned to look at him and his mind stuck for a second, forgetting what he wanted to say at the sight of Zayn being shirtless, his tattoos and flat stomach on display. “Is that me?”

“Yes,” Zayn said and walked closer to him. “Are you alright? You seem a little off.” He raised his hand and placed it on Niall’s forehead. “You’re hot. You must have a fever.”

“I have a terrible headache,” he stated and Zayn took him by the hand and guided him to his room.

Niall crawled into his bed while Zayn was mumbling about lectures, work and phones. Niall wanted to tell him that he was fine and that he shouldn’t worry because he always got sick and his fever would probably only last one or two days, but he was just too tired to open his mouth.

Zayn pulled the covers up to Niall’s chin and went to the kitchen to bring him a wet towel. When he returned and wiped the sweat from his forehead, Niall insisted that he was fine and that Zayn should go to his lectures but Zayn just shook his head.

“I’ll make you some soup. Chicken soup, just how you like it,” he said and ignored Niall’s protests of not being hungry.

“Zayn”, Niall called just as he was ready to step out of the room. “You painted me beautifully.”

“You are beautiful, Niall.”

 _No, you’re the one that’s beautiful_ , he thought and opened his mouth to speak but he felt like someone was pushing down his eyelids. He closed his eyes and dreamt of the canvas, only this time Zayn’s face was painted on it too, kissing him.

***

Niall woke up by someone shaking his shoulder. Niall groaned and turned his head, meeting Liam’s warm brown eyes. “And here I was, thinking that I should kiss you in order to wake up,” he said with a big smile.

“Why would you wake me up, you mean bulldog?”

Liam giggled and brought him a tray with a bowl of soup on it. “You should eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” Niall replied and pushed the sheets over his head. Liam pulled them down and made him sit up, putting the tray on his knees.

“Even though I’m very surprised to hear these kind of words from your mouth, I don’t have any other choice. Zayn would kill me if he found out that you hadn’t eaten his homemade soup. He already looks at me with a stern look every time I mention your name since that dinner party.”

At the mention of Zayn’s name, Niall started eating it even though he couldn’t taste what it was like. “Zayn likes you.”

“I know he likes me and I like him too. But he sees me as a threat.”

“A threat for what?” he asked.

“Your heart,” Liam replied nonchalantly and Niall shook his head.

“I told you he doesn’t see me that way,” he repeated what he had said to him and Harry numerous times and Liam raised both of his hands in surrender.

“When will the two of you finally get over yourselves and admit your feelings to each other? It’s so obvious you both like each other, I don’t get how you cannot see it.”

“Did you ask out that girl from your uni?” Niall changed the subject. He was tired of having these conversations with his friends and his mother. If Zayn did like him, he would have found ways to show him.

“Don’t try to deceive me, Horan. If you don’t do anything, I’ll have to take action.”

“There’s nothing you could do, Liam,” Niall replied, standing up to walk to the bathroom. When he went back to his bed, after he had taken a shower and washed his teeth, Liam had taken the tray with the half finished soup to the kitchen and was sitting at the edge of his bed.

Niall lay down, feeling better now that he had eaten and had a shower. “You know, Zayn didn’t want to leave you. He missed his lectures and would miss his work if Louis hadn’t called me to come and look after you,” Liam pointed out and Niall nodded.

“He drew a portrait of me,” he said and closed his eyes.

“Just like the fortune teller lady predicted,” Niall heard Liam say but he wasn’t sure if that was just the delirium from his fever.

***

This time, when Niall opened his eyes, he saw Zayn sitting on a chair from their kitchen, reading a book. He had brought him his blanket and put it over his own, but still Niall was shivering from cold. “Your soup was delicious,” Niall said to let him know that he was awake.

Zayn raised his head and he looked so beautiful Niall wanted to cry. “How are you feeling?”

“My throat is better but I’m freezing,” he replied.

“I’ll join you,” Zayn stated and before Niall could comprehend his words, he had taken off his t-shirt and his skinny jeans, and stood in front of him in his black Calvin Klein boxers.

“Wh…” Niall tried to say but he was too shocked (and aroused) to utter any words.

“I’ve given you my blanket so I can’t sleep in my bed without freezing. Besides, you’re shivering.” Zayn raised the sheets and crawled next to Niall, who just laid there.

“You’ll get sick too,” he tried to protest but he immediately drew closer to Zayn. He wasn’t only hot; he radiated heat.

“I’ve never been sick in my life,” Zayn said, pulling Niall closer to him, so now they were practically entangled.

“I knew you were a vampire,” Niall joked and Zayn smiled. Niall had placed his head on his chest, next to his lips tattoo and he could hear the steady rhythm of his heart.

“You’re way too hot. We’ll go to a doctor tomorrow if the fever doesn’t drop.” Niall vaguely realised that Zayn’s voice was coming from his hair, which could only mean that his mouth was there too.

“Tomorrow, I’ll be better,” Niall promised and thanked God that he had taken a shower before Zayn came.

“You smell good,” he blurted out and Zayn giggled.

“One million Paco Rabanne,” he said and Niall nodded. “You smell nice too,” Zayn added.

“Dolce Gabbana light blue,” he explained. “Just like my eyes.”

“Your eyes are not just blue; they’re like the sea, always changing colours depending on the position of the sun.” Zayn ran circles with his thumb on Niall’s back, making it harder for him to keep his eyes open.

“Look who’s talking,” Niall said and closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of being so close to Zayn. He felt him everywhere; on his forehead, on his belly, on his feet. It was overwhelming.

“Me? I just have plain boring brown eyes.” Niall snorted.

“You’re an artist, Zayn, you should know better than that. Your eyes are like...hazel. And with those eyelashes….”

Zayn didn’t answer and just kept rubbing his back. “Zayn,” Niall said after a moment and he hummed. “You’ll be there when I wake up?”

“I’m not going to leave you, Niall... I just want to make you smile, is that okay?”

“Yes, Zayn, I love you,” he mumbled before dropping off.

***

Niall woke up, his whole body sweaty, feeling like he was suffocating from the heat. He could sense Zayn’s naked torso being pressed up in his back. Somehow during the night, they had changed positions and Niall had become the little spoon. Slowly, he raised his body to pull away one of the blankets trying not to wake Zayn, which was easier said than done since their feet were tangled.

After lots of effort, he managed to pull it away and lay down again. He was very sleepy and he would have slept immediately if he hadn’t felt something poking his back. It took him a minute before he realised that it was Zayn’s bulge and his eyes widened.

Panicked, he tried to move away but Zayn’s hand pushed him back to his chest. _Oh dear Lord_ , he thought as he felt Zayn’s erection on his ass. Taking deep breaths he tried to steady the beating of his heart and not think about having sex with Zayn.

***

Niall’s mood was ruined the moment he saw Zayn smiling and talking to a red-haired guy. It had been five days since Niall had got well again and the boys have decided to go clubbing to Funky Buddha since they hadn’t done it in a long time.

Niall had come to drink and dance and that was what he was doing until he spotted Zayn flirting with that jerk. After the way Zayn had treated him when he was sick, he had hopes that maybe Zayn was indeed feeling something for him. _As if._

“Hey, don’t be so sad,” Liam said and offered him two shots of tequila that Niall immediately downed.

“I think he just kissed him,” Niall said, pointing to Zayn and stealing the glass of Johnnie cola right out of Liam’s hands.

“So what? A kiss doesn’t mean anything.” Liam shrugged and Niall was thankful that he didn’t ask for his drink back.

“Yeah right,” he snorted and emptied the glass.

“What? I could kiss you and it wouldn’t mean anything other than that I love you as my friend. Haven’t you heard of friendly kisses?”

Niall laughed. “I’m not that drunk, Liam. As if there was a single chance you would ever kiss me,” he said but before he could finish his sentence, Liam had lightly grabbed his head and brought their lips together.

Niall stayed still for a moment before he moved and kissed Liam back. He got what Liam meant; even though the kiss was great and if it had happened three years ago, he would probably have fell head over heels, now it didn’t mean anything sexually. It was a friendly kiss, just like Liam had described it.

When Liam drew back, Niall had a huge grin on his face. “Thank you,” he said and Liam just shrugged before leaving to grab some more shots. When Niall turned his head, he found Harry and Louis staring at him dumbly and he shot them a big smile before he started dancing to Minaj’s Starships.

He hadn’t forgotten about Zayn but Liam had cheered him up again. He danced alone and with some other guys that quickly left him when they realised that he didn’t intend to make out with them. Niall didn’t care; he came to have fun and he wouldn’t let anyone, not even Zayn, ruin it for him.

At some moment (he had lost the sense of time), he felt strong hands gripping his hips. Niall stretched his neck and the guy placed his head on the crook of his neck. Niall was ready to leave since he didn’t feel like making out with anyone, but the cologne of the stranger made him stop. When he turned around, he found Zayn staring at him.

Before he could say anything, Zayn’s lips were on his. For the second time that night, Niall was too shocked to move. _Zayn is kissing me. I’m kissing Zayn._ He felt like he would pass out but then Zayn drew back and apologised for the kiss, apparently misjudging Niall’s shock as lack of desire.

Instead of giving an answer, Niall grabbed Zayn’s head and kissed him. Niall felt like his heart was trying to escape from his chest and when Zayn’s tongue touched his, he was sure that he was going to explode. Zayn tasted sweet from the alcohol, and his pouty lips, Niall swore, were made only for kissing.

Contrary to his belief, Niall didn’t explode. Just when he thought he was going to have a heart attack, everything faded away –the noise from the music, the overwhelming scent of cologne. All that he could see and feel was Zayn and how his hands traveled down his spine and grabbed his butt. Niall would have jumped on him if Zayn hadn’t drawn back at the moment and rested his forehead on Niall’s.

All the noise came back and Niall felt an urgent need to breath. “Outside?” he asked and Zayn nodded. Niall walked towards the exit, not checking if Zayn was following him; for some reason he was sure he would be.

***

As soon as they were outside, Zayn took a fag out of his black leather jacket and put it in his mouth. He had promised to Niall that he would quit but it seemed that the situation required it.

“Not a metaphor, I suppose,” Niall said and Zayn gave him a weird look before lighting it.

They both stood there, Zayn smoking and Niall trying to sober up, his ears still buzzing. It was Zayn that broke the silence. “I saw you kissing Liam.”

Niall didn’t know if it was the tone of accusation in Zayn’s voice but he immediately grew defensive, hugging his body to protect it from the cold. “Liam kissed me and it didn’t mean anything to either of us. It was a friendly kiss.” Zayn snorted. “I saw you flirting with that guy,” Niall snapped and it took Zayn a few seconds before his eyes lit up with realisation.

“He’s from my uni. I don’t even fancy him!” Zayn said.

Niall nodded and watched Zayn finishing his fag. “Why did you kiss me?” he asked once Zayn threw it away.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked back, raising his hands. “Because I like you. I liked you when I was just a kid and I liked you ever since I stepped foot in our apartment. I like your laughter, I like the freckles on your neck, the way you make your presence known as soon as you step into a room. I like your eyes, your milky skin, your lips and your passion for music. I’m in love with you and if being your roommate means I’ll have to stand by and watch you bring Liam or anyone else…”

“I’m in love with you too,” Niall whispered, interrupting him.

“What?” Zayn asked dumbly and Niall smiled.

“At first I thought it was just a crush but my mother was right, you can be in love with someone if that someone is also…” Niall stopped talking once he realised he was mumbling. “I’m in love with you too,” he repeated and giggled when Zayn just stared at him in disbelief. “I believe you said something about my lips.”

This seemed to be enough for Zayn to finally move, a smile blossoming on his face.

***

Once they went back inside, Zayn went to the bathroom while Niall returned to their stand where he found Harry. “Oh my God, where were you?” Harry exclaimed when he noticed him. “Why on earth did you kiss Liam?”

“It was a friendly kiss. No big deal,” Niall replied and poured himself a glass of water.

“No big deal? Zayn came here half an hour ago looking for you and he seemed pretty upset. He saw you and Liam kissing.”

“Me and Zayn kissed.” Niall emptied his glass and laughed when he noticed Harry’s surprised expression.

“What? When?” Harry managed to utter and Niall was ready to answer him when Zayn came and grabbed him by his shoulder.

“Can I steal him from you?” he asked for permission and kissed Niall’s neck, already dragging to the dance floor.

“Yeah…”Harry said dumbly. “Steal him, take him, do him.”

***

“Tell me everything,” Harry demanded as soon as Niall sat, in a cafeteria next to his campus.

“What do you want me to tell you?” Niall asked grinning.

“Do you want to drink the cappuccino I’ve ordered for you or not?” Harry asked back. “I’ve been trying to find you all day, you don’t answer to any of mine, Louis’ or Liam’s calls and you have the nerve to joke about it? Tell me, did you have sex?”

Niall motioned for Harry to give him his cup of coffee but Harry raised his eyebrows in denial. “Fine. I was willing to ignore that you think that I’m so easy, that i’d put out on the first date but…”

“Oh, don’t play Virgin Mary to me,” Harry interrupted him. “I’d be surprised if you even reached your flat before you started ripping your clothes off.”

“Who do you think I am?” Niall asked pretending he was insulted, but he gave in once Harry gave him the Dora the explorer look. “Okay fine, we would have if that old lady from the second floor hadn’t interrupted us.”

“You know, I never liked that old belch ever since her dog almost bit me,” Harry stated and offered the cup of coffee to Niall. “So, did you have sex?”

Niall raised three fingers as he took a sip. “Three?” Harry wondered aloud. “What th… Oh! That’s why you didn’t answer.”

Niall laughed. “The first time was very short for both of us but Zayn is just so horny. We had sex another two times when we got back and two more in the morning. I was late because Zayn wanted to have shower sex.”

“I know you may think you sound like you’re complaining but the big goofy smile on your face suggests otherwise.”

Niall shrugged and took another sip of his coffee. He was happy and he had no reason to hide it. “So how’s Zayn down there? I’ve always wondered.”

“I’m not going to talk about Zayn’s dick in a cafeteria with you!” he whispered but Harry persisted. “Oh come on, I’m your best friend! If you don’t tell me, who are you going to tell?”

“You never tell me about your sex life with Louis,” Niall pointed out and immediately regretted it.

“That’s because I’ve already told you everything. It drives him crazy when I rim him and…”

“Oh God, please stop,” Niall interrupted him. “I’ll tell you everything you want in order for you to stop.” Harry grinned and motioned for him to continue. “He’s longer than me by half or one inch, but I’m a little thicker. What I really like is that he has really hmm… big balls and the sound they make when they -”

“Shut your filthy mouth, you disgusting Irish boy. Why would you tell me that?” Harry asked and Niall just stared at him, till Harry started laughing loudly.

“So are you officially together now?” Harry questioned and Niall nodded. They had discussed it this morning, after the shower sex; they were in an exclusive relationship.

“You know, Louis told me it was you who made him realise that our relationship had started going downhill.”

“I did what every friend would do,” Niall replied.

“And that’s why I’m going to tell you what Zayn said about your dick to Louis a few hours ago,” Harry added and Niall drew closer without realising it.

***

“Tell me you liked it even if you didn’t,” Niall said placing the dishes in the dishwasher. As soon as he left with Harry from the cafeteria, he drove back to his and Zayn’s flat, stopping at a local market in his way.

He had called his mother to get her meatballs recipe and had made Harry write down the ingredients (“Write more clearly, you lazy asshole”). He didn’t know how he managed to cook without burning the flat (he and Harry had some pretty bad memories) but when he finished- just as Zayn was walking in- the lunch was ready and even tasted good; not like his mother good, but still, good.

“I liked it, really.” Zayn’s voice came from the living room where he sat on the puff. “I was just a little surprised. I thought you liked bigger balls.”

Niall stayed still for a little before he walked into the living room, only to find Zayn grinning at him. “That sneaky, curly bastard!” he exclaimed and Zayn started laughing.

“I don’t know about Harry but in Louis’ defense, I made him tell me after I promised to do an essay for him.”

“Well, he’ll need the time to find a new boyfriend,” Niall said and Zayn laughed again.

“Also, I’m no way one inch longer than you,” Zayn pointed out and Niall shrugged.

“That’s what it seemed to me when I had it in my mouth.” Zayn blushed and this time it was Niall the one giggling.

“Also, you could have made Louis tell you without anything in exchange. He thrives on gossiping.” Zayn shrugged and Niall grinned. “I guess you don’t use your mind very often, do you? That’s why you like my big pink head,” he said before returning to the kitchen.

“He told you?” Zayn yelled and Niall laughed.

***

Everything was perfect. Not much had changed in their routine; there was just more sex and kissing. Niall was always happy and had a big smile on his face that Louis had swore he wanted to wipe off his face.

It was November, but in Niall’s heart it was already Christmas and he relished everything that came with it- hoodies, hot chocolate, beanies, cappuccino and watching movies covered in a blanket (the fact that he had to share it with Zayn made it even better.)

He didn’t share only his blanket with Zayn; he also shared his clothes (he had grown an obsession with Zayn’s beanies) and a bed. Zayn slept in Niall’s bed which was bigger- even though Niall did consider kicking him out, just in hopes of him not being so horny all the time.

Everything was perfect- and really, Niall should know better than that.

***

Niall walked into their flat, took off his jacket, ignored Zayn’s greeting and quickly ran into his room, closing the door. It wasn’t long before Zayn walked in and found him lying on the bed, his face hidden beside the pillows.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Zayn asked and sat next to him. “Niall, what happened?” Zayn persisted when he didn’t get an answer.

“Nothing,” he replied, wanting to be alone, but Zayn lay beside him and pulled him into an embrace.

“Niall, your eyes are swollen from crying. Did someone hurt you?”

Niall didn’t answer and raised his hand to wipe the tears off his face. Only when Zayn grabbed his left hand, did he realise his mistake. “Your knuckles are bruised,” he noticed. “Did someone attack you? Niall, answer me, I swear to God I’ll-”

“No one attacked me,” Niall interrupted him and sat up.

“Then what happened?”

“If I tell you, do you promise not to hate me?” Niall asked and Zayn made him turn his head to look him in the eyes.

“Hey, I’d never hate you,” he said and kissed him softly.

“Okay,” Niall begun once Zayn drew back, “about a year ago I met a guy at Funky Buddha, named David. I didn’t like him, he looked rather old for my taste, but he bought me a drink so I didn’t push him away when he came to dance with me. He wasn’t one of those filthy guys that thought buying you a drink meant you had to sleep with them. No, he was clean, smart and kind. He bought me drink after drink and I even sent the boys away when they said they wanted to leave. The guy seemed so harmless, I knew that he would never hurt me. That night when I was wasted, David drove me home, carried me to my flat and made me promise him that I would call him the next day to let him know that I was fine.”

Zayn was listening carefully as he caressed Niall’s back. “We started texting after that until he asked me out on a date. I wasn’t really interested but I didn’t have anything else to do, so I accepted. When he came to take me out, he held a huge bouquet of blue hydrangeas, ‘just like the colour of my eyes’. He took me to a fancy restaurant where he told me that he had noticed me a lot of times at the club but he was too afraid that I would turn him down. He was cute and he was honest. He told me everything; that he was married with two kids and that he was a rich ship-owner. I cared more about the second part than the first.”

Niall sat up and took a breath before he continued. “I guess we started having an affair since then. We didn’t kiss or have sex, but there was a certain kind of intimacy. He didn’t care that I slept with other people; he only wanted me to go out with him once a week to talk. I didn’t mind it; it was just a dinner and he would fill me with gifts. If I wanted a ticket for a concert or someone to make reservation at clubs where they would treat me like I was a celebrity, all I had to do was ask him.”

“This kept going for six months. I’d told the boys and my mother about him- it wasn’t something I could hide, especially when I would go around wearing Dolce & Gabbana jumpers- but I kept out the ‘married with children’ part. I want to think that I’ve almost forgotten it myself. Until one day, I didn’t.”

Niall briefly closed his eyes. “I was out wearing clothes he had bought me and buying some more with the money he had given me when I spotted him. He was with his family and when he saw me, he winked at me. He winked at me while he held his daughter’s hand and hugged his wife. I felt so horrible that moment that I quickly went back to my flat and threw away everything that he had bought me. Later, I texted him that he should stay with his family and never meet me again.”

“I hadn’t realised that he had become so obsessed with me. He would call me for days and stand outside the flat, yelling that he wanted to see me. I had to bring Liam in order to scare him away. A week after I had texted him, he sent me a text, explaining that he had told his wife everything and that he had asked for a divorce in order to be with me. I deleted it and didn’t pay much attention to any of his other texts until I saw it on the news – his wife had attempted suicide and was hospitalised. That frightened me the most- the fact that someone could have died just because I wanted to get gifts. I wished that he would stop trying to contact me after that, but it only increased. Five days after the attempted suicide, I called my mother and explained everything to her. I don’t know what she did, but he never called me again.”

Niall stayed still, waiting for Zayn to speak but he just lay there, caressing Niall’s back. “You must think I’m a horrible person,” Niall whispered.

“You? Of course not, Niall. You were what, twenty years old? Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is that you tried to make it right.”

Niall nodded and Zayn kissed him on the head. “And what happened now?”

Niall sighed and closed his eyes again. “I bumped into him as I was returning from uni. I went on foot and I met him a few blocks away from here. He greeted me with a big smile and he put his card on my pocket. When I said that I never wanted to see him again, he asked me if I had found another fool to drain money from like the gold digging slut I was. That’s when I punched him and ran away.”

“You did well,” Zayn said and kissed him. “I’m going to bring you some food and some ice for your hand, okay?”

Niall nodded and watched Zayn walking away. He heard him talking to someone then, but when he came back with a tray and Niall asked him, he denied it.

Later when Niall stood up and walked to the hall, to grab his jacket and throw away the card, he found it being hung on the monk. The card was gone.

***

“Greg just called me. He wanted to know why I hadn’t deposited the money,” Niall told Zayn though the mobile.

“And what did he say?” Zayn asked. He was at the bookstore and Niall could hear some of the clients.

“He yelled at me, told me that I was selfish and that I was always dad’s favourite pet.”

“Ouch.”

“He’ll get over it,” Niall said nonchalantly. “Denise later called me to thank me. Apparently, Greg finally started searching for a job. I also called my dad to stop putting so much money on my bank account and to confirm that we’ll be going to his gala dinner.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Zayn said and Niall could understand that he was smiling. “I also have a surprise for you.”

“What?” Niall asked intrigued but Zayn didn’t give in.

“Come to the book store,” he persisted and Niall quickly complied.

***

When Niall walked inside the little book store there were no customers. He tried to spot Zayn but instead his eyes met a tall old man watching him behind a counter.

“Hello. Is Zayn here?” Niall asked and approached the man.

“He’s back at the storehouse, piling up some books. He’ll be here soon. You must be Niall.” His voice was weak and his blue eyes reminded Niall of his own.

“Yes. And you must be Mr. Ollivander,” he said before thinking it though.

“It’s okay, my child. That youngster thinks I’m lying when I say that I’ve met Jo but tell me; who do you think inspired her to write about that wandmaker?” Mr. Ollivander asked and Niall didn’t answer not being entirely sure whether the old man was messing with him or not.

“Now, child, come a little closer,” he said and Niall did so. “Tell me, are you one of those narrow minded teens who think that homosexuality is the sin of our century?”

Niall stared at him dumbly before he shook his head in denial. “Good, it would be a shame. I’m sure Zayn is in love with you.”

Niall raised his eyebrows in surprise. It seemed that Zayn hadn’t told his boss about their relationship. “Yeah, yeah. I can understand it in the way he talks about you. Niall this, Niall that. I’m afraid someday I’ll slip from all his drooling.”

Niall smiled and Mr. Ollivander nodded. “Yes, he has me fearing for my own life. So, please my child, do something about it. Don’t let the opportunity slip through your hands.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” Niall promised and the old man smiled. “However, you seem to be talking from personal experience. Have you let any opportunity slip, Mr. Anderson?”

“Call me Oliver,” he said and sighed. “Back in my years, things weren’t as they are today. There was this boy in my secondary school and I think we had a mutual attraction. But, of course, nothing happened. Later, I got married but now I’m a widower. I wouldn’t be telling you the truth if I claimed that I didn’t want to meet him.”

“And why don’t you look for him? There are so many ways now that you could find him. I don’t think that it’s ever late, especially when it comes to love,” Niall pointed out and Mr. Ollivander just stared at him.

Zayn returned and smiled as soon as he walked in. “Hey,” he said and Niall greeted him back.

“When will your shift be over?” Niall asked and Zayn sighed.

“In an hour,” he replied but Mr. Ollivander shook his head.

“Leave now. I’ll close it earlier today. I have something to do anyway,” he said and Niall shot him a big smile.

“Are you sure?” Zayn questioned.

“Yes, rude youngster, didn’t you hear me? Leave now, take Niall on some fancy restaurant.”

Zayn looked at Niall who only shrugged and they both walked out of the book store after they waved him goodbye. “I work here three years and he has never closed his book store early,” Zayn said.

“Well there’s always time for a first, isn’t it? Now, tell me what’s the surprise?”

Zayn stared at him for a moment before he smiled. “I found you a job!” he exclaimed.

“What?”

“The son of one of my professors owns a guitar shop and he’s looking for someone who has some knowledge of guitars to help out the customers.”

“That’s perfect, Zayn!” Niall yelled and hugged him. Zayn raised him in the air, laughing.

“I also told him about your father. He said that if you’re good, not even on the Queen’s order he would fire you. You have a trial on Friday,” he said once he put Niall down.

“That’s perfect,” Niall repeated and kissed him.

***

“Zayn, seriously, we’re going to be late,” Niall said as he was finishing making his hair.

“It’s not my fault you look so hot in this blue suit. Come on, one last time,” he begged and pouted.

“Don’t give me that look”, Niall demanded and turned his back to the mirror in their bedroom to look at Zayn, who was sitting on their bed. “You said the same thing the last time, not even an hour ago!”

Zayn shrugged and stood up, walking closer to Niall. “Stay away from me!” he warned and Zayn smiled. “I don’t trust my body when I’m near you.”

“But, babes, your ass looks so good in those pants. Just one last time,” he whispered and kissed Niall’s neck.

“You have an obsession with my ass, I hope you realise that.”

“It’s because I have none of my own.” Niall moaned when Zayn bit him lightly on the base of his neck and grabbed his butt at the same time.

“You know why? Because God probably had already spent too much time sharpening your cheekbones and sculpturing your jaw line that had very little time to focus on your bum”.

Zayn hummed agreeing and pushed Niall to the wall. “Oh, we’re going to be sooo late,” Niall said and quickly took off his suit.

***

They were indeed late, as his mother pointed out once they reached the hotel the gala was taking place, and they would have been even later if Niall had agreed to take the shower with Zayn.

“I’m sorry, Miss Gallagher. It’s all my fault; I ran late helping my sister with her homework,” Zayn lied and Niall shook his head disapprovingly.

“It’s okay then, dear,” his mother said before walking off to greet some of her friends.

“Remember, no one knows about us,” Niall whispered and Zayn nodded.

“Yeah, I know; no kisses or holding hands. This is why we invented our code,” he replied and poked Niall three times; one over his heart, one under his right nipple and one over his belly button. “I- love- you,” he whispered and Niall smiled, as he grabbed a glass of champagne.

***

The gala was pretty boring and Niall probably would have slept through it if it hadn’t been for Zayn. At the beginning, Niall was busy greeting all his father’s guests, introducing himself as his son and Zayn as his friend. Except of some childhood friends of his dad’s, Niall didn’t know anyone, but wasn’t also willing to meet them either. If it wasn’t for free delicious food and abundant champagne, Niall would have left immediately.

At least, it seemed that the gala was a success with new guests coming all the time. He hadn’t seen his dad since he had come, but he hoped that he was pleased with himself. It looked like he had put in a lot of effort (and money) to organise it.

It had been three hours when his mother grabbed him by his arm and started pulling him. “Greg’s here,” she said and Niall followed her to the lobby, walking fast but trying not to make a scene.

The way his mother had reacted, made Niall think that Greg had crashed into the hotel, drunk and yelling curses. However, when they got there he found his brother standing in a black suit, holding the invitation to the gala and facing their father, who was already there.

“Hey, little one,” he greeted him and Niall smiled. Denise had texted him that Greg had found a job as a supermarket supervisor and that he finally seemed to be happy again.

“Hey,” Niall replied and nodded to his dad when he turned to face him.

“I’m glad you could make it,” their dad said coldly and Greg shrugged.

“I’m not going to stay. I just wanted to let you know that Theo’s christening will be in two weeks. You’re invited.”

Their father nodded and this was the best reaction they would get. When he turned to look at his mother, she had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

“Is everything okay?” Zayn asked as soon as Niall returned and he nodded. Everything was okay.

***

“Do you believe in destiny?” Niall asked as he tangled his fingers with Zayn’s. They were lying naked in their bed, Niall’s head on Zayn’s chest, listening to his heart beating faster. It was the first time he’d had sex and didn’t feel the urgent need to take a shower afterwards. He had made Zayn bring some towels to wipe themselves but still, he didn’t mind being sweaty as long as Zayn was there. Maybe Zayn had made him more relaxed about sex.

“I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it,” Zayn said shrugging and a silence followed where Niall could only hear Zayn’s pants. “Do you know what day it was that you invited me to that party?”

“Friday,” Niall replied. He remembered it because he had learnt about Zayn’s move when he returned to school on Monday.

“And the day we met again when I moved back in?”

“I don’t know. Friday? What’s your point?”

“Nothing, something’s just itching me on my right collarbone,” he replied smiling but giving no other explanation.

“There was this boy from Greece I used to talk with in a Photoshop forum,” he said instead after a moment of silence. “He had sent me a song one time; it was named ‘I was growing up for you’.”

“What was it about?” Niall asked.

“For me, it’s about two lost soul mates, who desperately try to find each other. I’ll get you to hear it once I found the translated lyrics he had sent me. Though I must warn you, it’s a very sad song.”

“Why is that?”

“It’s not because of the melancholic music and voice of the singer. It’s more about the lyrics. She sings that even after everything she’s been though for that person, they never meet. After all, they don’t meet.”

“After all,” Niall repeated. “This could be our always.”

“I told you I didn’t like ‘the fault in our stars’!” Zayn exclaimed and Niall smiled, sitting up and riding him.

“After all?” he repeated and kissed Zayn’s lips tattoo. Zayn smiled and pushed him so now he was on top of Niall.

“After all,” he said and kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> The song that Zayn mentions in the end exists. I could send the song and the translated lyrics to anyone who wants.


End file.
